Dating

On occasion, women in Utah will agree to go out with me despite the fact that I have a genetic disease (took me a while to realize that being Black was a disease in Utah.). Dating Mormons is quite a unique experience, let me tell you that. I think everyone should experience it a few times. I try to come off less threatening. I don't ask for her address (she might think I'm a stalker). We just agree on a date and a place. And, to make things familiar to her, I make sure the restaurant is NOT KFC or Popeye's. I make sure to show up to the restaurant a little early, just in case she does. I'd hate for her to have to wait for me.

            "Can I take your order now, sir?" the waitress will ask me eventually.

            "Nah, I'm waiting for my date. I'll just continue nursing this water." I reply, taking a sip.

            "What time was she supposed to meet you here?"

            "7:00. She's probably running a little late."

            "Sir, it's 9:30."

            "So she should be along any minute then, right?"

            "I don't think she's going to show. I'm sorry."

            "Damn!" I say, lowering my head.

            "Is there anything I can do for you?" she asks, putting her hand on mine.

            "Yeah, can I get this water to go? The water at my house is shit."

Considering how often this tends to happen here, I should start bottling the water and reselling it. I could make a fortune. I could even write a book on how to get rich. 

           Step 1: Get moderately wealthy. 

           Step 2: Get suckers to buy your Get Rich book. 

And I'm not even sure Step 1 is a pre-requisite. I doubt anyone's going to double check.