Running into a Cop

I ran into a cop at the store. Well, not actually ran to. We crossed paths, he was on his way in and me my way out. I panicked a bit when we encountered each other.

Me (thinking): Don't say you have weed. Don't say you have weed. Don't say you have weed. Don't say you have weed. Don't say you have weed. Don't say you have weed.
Officer: Afternoon.
Me: Afternoon, officer.

The worst part is that I actually don't have weed. Can you imagine what would've happened if I blurted that out. At best, I would've gotten a strip search, at worst it could've been a national catastrophe.

Officer: He said he had weed, chief. So it was natural I strip-searched him.
Chief: He must be the only Black guy in the country without any. Maybe he just wanted to be touched. Lets leak this to the press and call it a day.

*Later that evening on Fox News*

Anchorman: A black guy admitted to having weed in front of a cop. If you think that's bad, imagine how much worse he looked when it was determined he didn't actually have any. Police say he's just a sexually frustrated homosexual looking for kicks.
Blond Bimbo Anchorwoman: His parents must be so ashamed, Gene.
Anchorman: Even after the altercation, he insists he isn't gay.
Anchorwoman: Yeah, and I'm not a whore.
Anchorman: Haha, of course you aren't. Onto more important news, Kim and Kanye's new baby North West.
Anchorwoman: Why does that sound familiar?
Anchorman: It's a direction, Melissa.
Anchorwoman: No, that's One Direction.
Anchorman: If you weren't a leggy blond with a nice set of tits, your life would be meaningless.
Anchorwoman: My father says the same thing.

And they would both have a hearty laugh while dying a little inside.