I don't need to tell you that my roommates are, uh, interesting. I think the mentally disabled one (I'm told retard is politically-incorrect, not like that's ever stopped me) has some kind of special powers. Whenever I'm eating, he comes out of his room and says a few sentences and then scuttles back into his room. On the 3rd of July, his "black-sense" tingled so he came out and started shooting the breeze with me.
"Got any plans for 4th of July?" he asks.
"Nope."
"My uncle is having a bunch of people over at his place. He's got this projector and a whole collection of movies on shows. There'll be BBQ and a bunch of fun." I'm thinking this is pretty sweet. I'd love to go. "Sorry, I'll be going to that, otherwise I'd stay here with you." He says, almost as if we're buddies that hang out every day.
Fast forward to July 5th, same dude, same Black-sense ringing. My roommates have made my fatass abhor eating.
"How was your 4th of July?" He asks.
"As eventful as the 3rd."
"I had such a great time. Saw some movies. Oh and BBQ, there was delicious steak, hot-dogs, burgers." He informed me, as I'm biting into a meager sandwich. I think there needs to be a special place in Hell for these people, where they watch people eat delicious food while they starve.
No comments:
Post a Comment